Utilizing Mediation to Resolve Family Conflict

 Utilizing Mediation to Resolve Family Conflict

Within any household, conflict will occur regardless of the make-up of the family; whether husband and wife, parents with children, elderly parent living with their children and grandkids, cousins living with a grandparent, single-parent household, et cetera.  However, anytime the family consists of multiple children, it is inevitable that one of the constant conflicts to occur will be in some form of sibling rivalry.  “Whether a child expresses jealousy of her sibling, competes with him or teases him nonstop, it is destined to cause conflict” (Banks, 2010).  In effort to resolve family issues of this sort, mediation may be utilized.  This will allow a third party, usually one or both parents, to act as a mediator in effort to assist the children “in reaching a mutually agreeable resolution” (Kovach, 2005).  It’s vital that the parent(s) remains neutral due to the fact that “each child deserves an equal amount of parental love and acceptance” (Banks, 2010).  If not, the conflict will only intensify. 

Applying the component pieces of mediation should settle the dispute.  The preliminary arrangements in this case are typically already built in, since the attendees are set and the parameters are usually understood.  As the parent / mediator enters the introduction phase, they may tell the children the goals and objectives they desire to achieve.  For example, this may consist of the ceasing the teasing and / or jealousy, and creating a home environment in which each child feels loved, welcomed, and mutually respects one another.  The children’s opening remarks would allow them to individually give their personal account of the conflict without interruption.  Information gathering coupled with venting would permit each child and the parent to ask questions of one another and address the emotions conjured from the dispute.  The parent will use this information to identify the true issues at hand (issue and interest identification).  Typically the parent will separate the children at this point and have a private session, one on one, with each child.  This caucus allows the parent to gain additional information which the child may be reluctant to share in front of the opposing party.  Also the parent will find out exactly what each child desires to achieve and builds potential options.  This leads into the bargaining and negotiation stage.  This portion of the mediation will allow the parent to suggest trade-offs in a give and take fashion. An example: Child A may allow child B to play with their favorite toy in exchange for the being taught a particular talent or skill in which child B specializes.  Once the negotiations have been finalized, an agreement can be reached (Kovach, 2005).

References:

Banks, K. (2010). Four Causes of Family Conflict. Retrieved April 20, 2010, from

            http://www.livestrong.com/article/91391-causes-family-conflict/.

Kovach, K. (2005). The Handbook of Dispute Resolution. In M.L. Moffitt, R.C. Bordone,

            Mediation (pp.304-317). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.          

Interpersonal and Procedural Trust

Interpersonal and Procedural Trust

“The Trust model identifies two broad types of trust that parties are always relying on: interpersonal trust and procedural trust” (Furlong, 2005, p. 142). 

First, interpersonal trust is based on an individual’s judgement of another’s character, honesty, morality, and beliefs.  This set of feelings “defines how comfortable we are taking a given level of risk with a specific person.  It answers the question, ‘How much do I trust this individual?’” (Furlong, 2005, p. 142).  This form of trust is difficult to achieve and is created over time, experiences, interactions, and perhaps most importantly, willingness.  It is significant due to the fact that it is the strongest form of trust, therefore parties tend to assume the other person’s motives are genuine and parties anticipate success throughout the relationship which is often times based on perceived commonalities.  Interpersonal trust may benefit conflict resolution due to the fact that it encourages parties to focus on common interests and solutions, while nullifying hostility and discrimination.  More than likely the parties admire one another and / or have mutual respect, as well as open communication.  Since the parties already possess a positive rapport with one another they may be able to negotiate the ordeal without a mediator of third party involvement.  Typically this will result in the parties seeking a favorable outcome in a timely manner, at the least expense to either side.  Even if litigation is sought, settlement may be desired rather than an ongoing process.  However, from a negative aspect, interpersonal trust is easy to lose.  Therefore, a dispute may be the cause of the interpersonal trust lost within a relationship.

Second, procedural trust is defined as “the trust we place in a structure or process we are involved in, as opposed to the individual” (Furlong, 2005, p. 143).  This form of trust allows the individual to place their trust in the process, with little to no regard of the individuals involved.  “Procedural trust processes can be collaboratively built and agreed by the parties themselves…it is a set of steps or structures that are tangible and defined” (Furlong, 2005, p. 144), and thus not a matter of will.  This encourages practitioners to focus on procedural trust within dispute resolution procedures.  Due to the conflict, both parties may distrust each other, however if they believe in the process (i.e. mediation), they may achieve a favorable resolve (Furlong, 2005).  Employing this method in systems such as government, justice, and education afford opposing parties with a lack of interpersonal trust to utilize procedural trust to resolve their differences with the assistance of alternative dispute resolution processes.    

References:

Furlong, G.T. (2005). The Conflict Resolution Toolbox. Ontario, Canada: John Wiley &

            Sons Canada, Ltd.