Utilizing Mediation to Resolve Family Conflict
Within any
household, conflict will occur regardless of the make-up of the family; whether
husband and wife, parents with children, elderly parent living with their
children and grandkids, cousins living with a grandparent, single-parent household, et cetera. However, anytime the family consists of
multiple children, it is inevitable that one of the constant conflicts to occur
will be in some form of sibling rivalry.
“Whether a child expresses jealousy of her sibling, competes with him or
teases him nonstop, it is destined to cause conflict” (Banks, 2010). In effort to resolve family issues of this
sort, mediation may be utilized. This
will allow a third party, usually one or both parents, to act as a mediator in
effort to assist the children “in reaching a mutually agreeable resolution”
(Kovach, 2005). It’s vital that the
parent(s) remains neutral due to the fact that “each child deserves an equal
amount of parental love and acceptance” (Banks, 2010). If not, the conflict will only
intensify.
Applying the
component pieces of mediation should settle the dispute. The preliminary arrangements in this case are
typically already built in, since the attendees are set and the parameters are
usually understood. As the parent /
mediator enters the introduction phase, they may tell the children the goals
and objectives they desire to achieve.
For example, this may consist of the ceasing the teasing and / or jealousy, and creating
a home environment in which each child feels loved, welcomed, and mutually
respects one another. The children’s
opening remarks would allow them to individually give their personal account of
the conflict without interruption.
Information gathering coupled with venting would permit each child and
the parent to ask questions of one another and address the emotions conjured
from the dispute. The parent will use
this information to identify the true issues at hand (issue and interest
identification). Typically the parent
will separate the children at this point and have a private session, one on
one, with each child. This caucus allows
the parent to gain additional information which the child may be reluctant to
share in front of the opposing party. Also the parent will find out exactly what
each child desires to achieve and builds potential options. This leads into the bargaining and
negotiation stage. This portion of the
mediation will allow the parent to suggest trade-offs in a give and take fashion.
An example: Child A may allow child B to play with their favorite toy in
exchange for the being taught a particular talent or skill in which child B
specializes. Once the negotiations have
been finalized, an agreement can be reached (Kovach, 2005).
References:
Banks, K. (2010). Four Causes of
Family Conflict. Retrieved April 20, 2010, from
Kovach, K. (2005). The Handbook of
Dispute Resolution. In M.L. Moffitt, R.C. Bordone,
Mediation
(pp.304-317). San Francisco,
CA: Jossey-Bass.
